the one left behind

yesterday was a day off, to drive home to sipitang. since mum, dad, ucu & uncle, mama & bapa going to leave for Haj soon; which is on Tuesday morning, a kenduri arwah was done after prayer last night to mark them going soon.

it was kinda sad, i know i'm used of not having mum and dad around all the time, but to this clueless little faces?

they can't even understand why their parents are leaving for almost 45 days. right before we drive back to kk, i had a small talk with hasya and everytime i talk about how soon will her parents be going and how she must be super nice to her baby brother, she just smile and pretends that she didn't hear it. it must be real hard on her. living with her grandparents and having other ppl than her parents to take care of her. sigh. i can imagine that. i've been through that once. and it's kinda rough.

coincidently, when we were already in Beaufort, mum received a call saying that her uncle's wife's mother passed away a few minutes before the call. the term kenduri arwah literally carries the exact meaning.

we entered the house, mum & dad directly went to read holy verse for the arwah. terkejut juga cuz when i entered the house i think i saw the arwah sitting in the living room. i took a second glance, took a deep breath of relief because it was just my imagination. old people tend to look alike, just like all babies tend to look alike too.

i was kinda sad, though i'm not that close to her, but i know her. the drive home was a bit quiet, perhaps everybody else is thinking what i'm thinking too. i think, i need to start going back to visit my grandparents more often. need to listen to them more.

i asked bapa if he can pray for my success in building my own business soon. he said that he want none other than for me to be happy doing what i choose to do, and he said that he'd be happy to know that i wanna be an entrepreneur just like how he build his family up.

"Death stares at up in the eyes 70 times a day, and still the angel of Death is puzzled why we are still laughing the day away, when Death is too near"