mumbles (of nothingness) to myself

• eat before tanda-tanda of gastric mula muncul. it's never fun to have gastric. plus the ulcer involved, the potential for more money spent on memulihkan diri dari gastrik.
• i haven't seen much of the world. i mean the other, other part of the world. not just around the block down the hood.
  
• ...thus save money for travelling
• this weight, unnecessary weight is really unnecessary. i know that i need (read:need!) to lose all these burden
• people tend to label the 'this-friend' and the 'that-friend' but i'm just happy to be one of the friend that they know they can fall on to (literally). it doesn't matter lah if not included here and there, but u know. (actually this untuk menyenangkan hati sendiri)
• birthday coming soon. i hope no surprise party or anything (including lunch ka dinner ka...) cuz 1. i don't like to celebrate it, 2. i don't want group of friends fussing over me turning 22, 3. i just don't want to have one!
• but i still wonder what would i get for my birthday hehehe
• i think (i'm positive) somebody's gonna give me a 5-day shopping spree heee thx (i spoil the surprise myself)
• uwaaaaaa mum n dad going soon :(
• i really should be speeling sleeping now
• this is such a waste of time. menyalah gunakan the so-called digital notepad. whaddevvvvvv~~~
  

the one left behind

yesterday was a day off, to drive home to sipitang. since mum, dad, ucu & uncle, mama & bapa going to leave for Haj soon; which is on Tuesday morning, a kenduri arwah was done after prayer last night to mark them going soon.

it was kinda sad, i know i'm used of not having mum and dad around all the time, but to this clueless little faces?

they can't even understand why their parents are leaving for almost 45 days. right before we drive back to kk, i had a small talk with hasya and everytime i talk about how soon will her parents be going and how she must be super nice to her baby brother, she just smile and pretends that she didn't hear it. it must be real hard on her. living with her grandparents and having other ppl than her parents to take care of her. sigh. i can imagine that. i've been through that once. and it's kinda rough.

coincidently, when we were already in Beaufort, mum received a call saying that her uncle's wife's mother passed away a few minutes before the call. the term kenduri arwah literally carries the exact meaning.

we entered the house, mum & dad directly went to read holy verse for the arwah. terkejut juga cuz when i entered the house i think i saw the arwah sitting in the living room. i took a second glance, took a deep breath of relief because it was just my imagination. old people tend to look alike, just like all babies tend to look alike too.

i was kinda sad, though i'm not that close to her, but i know her. the drive home was a bit quiet, perhaps everybody else is thinking what i'm thinking too. i think, i need to start going back to visit my grandparents more often. need to listen to them more.

i asked bapa if he can pray for my success in building my own business soon. he said that he want none other than for me to be happy doing what i choose to do, and he said that he'd be happy to know that i wanna be an entrepreneur just like how he build his family up.

"Death stares at up in the eyes 70 times a day, and still the angel of Death is puzzled why we are still laughing the day away, when Death is too near"

soaked on monday

well, today, work is work as usual (playing computer games, blogging, friendsterizing, and a bit work here and there). had another new piece of work coming in (more like piece of $#!t, haha! joking lah!) i didn't know that there would also be people out there, hating sequin so much that they would actually send the material here so that i can take the sequin off. well i guessed wrong. there IS people who actually really really hate sequin.

got a call from the insurer (of Crest M.) asking for a claim list. uh, didn't we like did that together 2 days ago? i said positive positive positive that the claim list if already final.

on the other hand, who'd know this kind of thing would happen to the boutique. soaked with water, almost half of the boutique kena air, needless to say our inventory. what a luck. nasib this happened when my daddy's around. if when they're not here (another 6 days), i dunno la, habis rambut i tercabut berfikir.

i guarantee you that water (black in color, yang lain2 tu tambahan dari the makcik yang cleaning it up) consist of air tikus yang sudah mati!

soaked!

well i didn't know that the bomba's water sprinkler boleh suddenly burst, and to my surprise the water was FILTHY it made my skin rash a bit. sure, mesti ada tikus mati in the sprinkler tank. pls pray that the insurer wouldn't be too hard on us. i mean, we are already in great loss. when both the insurer and us make the claim list they were more than willing to tolak every single item yang nampak tidak damage. 'lembap saje tak kire lew Cik' eh, org semenanjung? nampak muka macam kubis juga. tsk tsk...

i hope next time i know how to deal with this kind of things if daddy's not around to handle it. lessons in life.

the diary of a celebrated model

1. a model is always late; tho they refer to it as fashionably late. whatever it is called, it still means that the production somehow have to be postponed for an hour or two (that's if you're lucky). most of the time, they'd be late because of a hangover (from a party last night), stuck in traffic, hair appointment went on extended hours, not feeling well and so on. the below model, on the other hand is just too lazy to get up, he's still limpang-limpang when the shooting session is supposed to start.

i'm still resting!!

2. a model always refuses for a touch-up and makes the i'm-so-annoyed face expression. they believe that since they are the model, they know pretty much how to put their own make-up on. and being the diva (or divo) that they are, a photo count should always be based on them, not the photographer. if the photographer pandai-pandai do the counting, the below result is the consequence.

i said i'm not ready!!

still not ready!! can't u see??

3. a model always, always tease and play with the camera. giving bad poses intentionally. giving poses that cover certain part of their face. in this case, the left eye.

i'm told to work the nike brand so that's what i'm doing, that's why i'm tilting my head for a clear view of the brand.

4. when we instruct the model to do something, they'll always overdo it.

u want vain? i'll give you vain! u want sexiness, i'm pouting my lips!

5. but it's always worth the wait for some really perfect shot!!

cover shot for kids sport wear magazine 2007

perfect 10/10. gangsta style! breed to be vain and a perfectionist!

just a little lovin early in the mornin

everything seems to be more beautiful in the morning! and i mean early early in the morning.

such an awesome God creation.

woke up early in the morning as usual for a jog. i can't help but stop to admire the beautiful color of the bougainvillea. likas was full blown with colors from blooming flowers. it must be some kind of spring here during this time of the year. such a good view for a morning jog. i am happy that i'm keeping healthy and determine *wink*

morning gossips between feeding the fishes. that's so multi-tasking. i bet they are talking bout the neighbor next door who's sleeping with a certain someone or somebody's business going down.

and yes, I AM still jogging at that time. i know, i know. where did i get the time to take pictures of people and flowers. multi-tasking are made for girls :) but yeah, i was actually trippin' for a while.

that's not quite right

now that's better. this is no other than TRIPPIN'. i feel like i'm in L.A or something with those trees at the back

introducing the circle of hell. it's F&^%ing painful! i can't even imagine how somebody behind me can brisk walk on this thing. i can barely stand!

*counting and hoping*

just a thought

i was browsing thru my friendster when i stopped by my junior's page. one of her friend (who is also my jr) happens to brag (sorry i can't help it but i think she is) about just how L-U-C-K-Y she was to get a job, a permanent one with pension and mind you her pension age would be 56 (why wud she state that, i pun tak paham! i mean that's pretty obvious).

what does that screams to me? >>> "i'm secure with a job serving the government, working for another pathetic 35 years literally kissing somebody's ass, kerja makan gaji with perhaps kenaikan gaji yang berlaku every 10 years"

i'm sorry i'm not here to offend :-
a. government servants. where would we be if they are slouching
b. people who decided to work until their pension age
c. ass kisser
d. ppl who makan gaji

perhaps i don't know any better. not that i'm proud of where i'm and decisions i took, but for her to B-R-A-G about it? puh-lease honey. wake up smell the coffee. there's nothing great about working for other ppl with a boss who have a heart a size of a pea.

and i'm also not here t offend
e. bosses

maybe, just maybe, I'm wrong and maybe somehow my theory seems fair only to my judgment but somehow i think those deserving stuck-ups did the same when i made my decision of staying where i am!

so, c'est la vie.

p/s: sorry but i'm just pissed that she bragged about it. my real problem was that exactly.

es britney perra

some say it was a bad performance. the look on the audiences face were priceless! at first her performance were drowned by the dancers, but she step up at around -1:25. a bit before the end of the song she stopped lip syncing all together.

'yeah it's great if you consider her hands-in-the-air as dancing!'
'she look like she's about the pass out or something!'
'why would she wear a bra&panties if she think she's fat?'

some of the critics. but what the hell, the one criticizing definitely are not the fan. why even bother. i just happen to love her music. that's right, es britney perra!

midnight's perhaps

the thinking starts midnight. the thinking start just a liiiiittle bit too annoying but still clinging to the last piece of nerve in the back of my mind.

perhaps it's time. to get back. to what Alice of L Word refers to as the good ol' boy-girl relationship. considering, considering, considering.

nah. i can do without boys, guys, man, wadeva, for the time being. i can't stand the typical guy = football, late on dates, insensitive, sloppy, easily gratified by tatas (eventually will lead to the next 'quality'), sex driven...and so on. the list may go on and on and on.

perhaps the way i judge men wud rub them the wrong way (i'm certain they will) since there is nothing nice that i said about them. but what can i say, most of them are as described. perhaps some will say i'm shallow. perhaps i'm. i don't mind because this is what i think. you, on the other hand may say whatever u please too.

and yes, it's true what my friend said, NO DOUBLE STANDARDS PLEASE. i want what i want, i don't have to please other ppl. period.

as for now, boy-girl relationship ranked in at the very bottom of my list, if not at all. i love guy friends, just not as partners. lagipun i play for the all girls team! haha! the whole different ball game, just like key's "friend" described ppl like us. WUDEVA BITCH!

rainy rainy

the time crawls so slowwwwwwww today.
hungry, not hungry.
bored.
not feeling so well.

i felt a bit tense on my shoulder, and coincidently one of my customer today owns a reflexology just a level up from the boutique. she gave a warm invitation to her shop where she provides a whole body massage....mmmmm sounds great....an hour full of massages from head to toe...just what i needed! plus it's only $50...perhaps i'd go tomorrow

TOMORROW :-
1. have a hair treatment
2. shop a bit
3. see friends
4. have 2 mangkuk of mak mok's delicious bakso...yumm!! :)
5. stop by at key's wall-of-art, can't wait to see the project!

maybe i should squeeze in the body massage...after all mummy's going soon and it'd be us 3 working day and night, non stop till u drop.

i'm happy to see the sun for the first time after few days of rainy afternoon (morning, evening, night = whole day raining). that gives me hope that soon i can start to jog in the morning with daddy. feeling sluggish after too long of zero exercise. let's see this time whether my determination could actually last :) being 22 and healthy!

captured!!

me n my bro were both eager to see who captured who first. a typical day at work...desperately finding a way to kill time...

sunday

sundah morning, and it's pouring. hmmm...what a day to take the week off. if it's raining, means heavier traffic; means more time taken to get from one point to another. hmmm...what a day to take the week off.
brought along my sister (the picture-taking-obsessed sister) so that we can catch a movie. later on we watched 30 days of night. amazingly, i scream louder (loudest in cinema) than my sister.

i told you she was obsessed in taking pictures. so do i.
had lunch at secret recipe. we just haveeee to check out what's the fuss is all about with the cakes there. the choc cheese cake was delicious! and so was the spag. meatball...yum yum...

went out with babe too...kusyukkkk tgk badminton while me n my sis having our diner at likas' Bilal cafe. today was fun...apart from the pouring rain, all was good. 29-oct wud be ren's befday. soon it will be mine too. such a one way street.

Raya

hari raya means...






new shoes :) new kurongs :)
























FOODS!! air tangan ibu n nenek the best! :) mum as usual, everytime i lift my camera up, she'd act as if it was candid...the whole idea of candid is no acting mum *sigh* hehehe.. daddy and uncle adnan as usual melayan makanan after their Eid ul-Fitr prayer. Kelupis, my favourite! and being a Kedayan, i'm proud to say that i know how to make kelupis hehe





best pic i've taken of my nephew Amir and my fav. cuzzie Acha..she looks so confuse as to why amir wanted to grab the camera instead of posing 'pretty pretty princess'.calmly she put her hand on his shoulder and told him to look into the camera. as for the second picture (which is perfect) acha was happy to see herself as a 'pretty pretty princess'.

FAMILY!! my mum mendukung my cuzzie and amir with his 'jealous-sensor' switched on, trus berlari-lari anak minta my mum dukung jua...kiddies :) hehe siok jua tgk that scene.

btw, all in all, during hari raya on average i consumed :-
>>1 kg of beef
>>whole chicken
>>3 cups of salt
>>4 cups of sugar (in soda form)
>>quarter kilo of langsat
>>5 biji durian
>>and NIL fibre

selamat Eid ul-Fitr to all..maaf z&b