Bapa

My aunt ucu drove all the way from Sipitang with Mama and Bapa to kk. i'm so thankful that she got Tuesday off so she can bring Mama and Bapa.

in the afternoon, mom brought Bapa (along with Mama) to see Dr. Bachi. i was anxious to know what did the doctors said. i rushed back home after work, to find him taking a nap on sofa. i asked mum and the reports haven't came in from the Dr. few minutes later i heard him guessing 'ayang kah tu? mulih sudah ia?' how can a grandpa not be precise when it comes to granddaughter? he sat next to me, and asked Mama to bring him some dinner. 'ada jua luih mu antaie di kadai? inda jua ampuk sehaie ani?' (did u have any sales today?). caring as always, i'm glad that i'm seeing more of him lately. we talked, and i asked him about his ulcer. he said on Wednesday he'd go to the Dr. 'untuk begambaa' << means to take x-ray look of his stomach. later that night Amir came and i sat there watching him play with Bapa. i remember that. sama saja cara nya mbawa bemain, dari kami kecil sampai lah my bro ada anak pun, it's still the same. for a while there cemburu jua, cuba lah aku pun dapat damit bebalik. i believe (or i wanted to believe) that i've always been Bapa's favorite. i was his first granddaughter. surely i'm his favorite. somehow it must be.

after two days staying at home, they went back, my mom sent both of them to Sipitang since my dad is already waiting there. i hope everything would be okay with his ulcer in his stomach. i heard the infection is already in his lungs. but i just refuse to take that into account. did i tell u that i believe what i want to believe?

well, he's fine, really. he'd be okay after taking medicine. he's a man of science with a strong fighting spirit..that's my grandfather!

i wish i possess more. i wish i have more so i can give them more too. i'm dying to buy him a new television, one that doesn't suddenly turns the volume up by itself. but i dare not say it before i have enough, i don't want to keep him waiting. he said both him and Mama aren't really bothered by the tele's problem, he said he liked it that way, a constant reminder for my cousin acha (who's 5 or 6) not to mess with the tele or it'll 'shout' like that. if he said he wants it that way, nobody dare to say otherwise.

if only i have more time...i'd make it up for all time lost...for every moment that i was 'lost'. if only