Green Tea

Friday seems to be a nice day to tidy up few things in the shop. serabut juga hati tgk kadang2. so decided to re-tag few items, stock check, dusting.........and i got tired so i stopped hehehe...

while cleaning out a few stuff on the counter (which i didn't succeed, before closing counter jadi bersepah lagi balik -- HABIT), i found an aromatherapy oil & the burner. mo juga pasang, tapi teda mancis. tidak kan juga mo minta sama org bata. hehehe. teringat i have a burner in my room too, i decided to bring it home since it's only collecting dust kalau di kedai.

bila sampai rumah, i put a few drops, burn it, left my room and pegi mandi. when i enter my room

ASTAGA YA AMPUN DOSAAAAAA

...rupanya inilah that one smell i'm always very careful to avoid, which is bau green tea. sedap memang baunya, but it reminds me a lot of 2004. adui tidak tidak tidak. kisah cinta mengundang parahhhhhhhhhhhh (eseeeh sastera laitu kunun)

saya jenis attach memory bersama dgn smell and songs.
so biasanya perfume anda,
atau bau sabun saya,
atau lagu kita,
akan selalu trigger memory saya tentang "suatu masa dulu"

nah ini teringat lah motor ride (woot woot!!), air kelapa, TUARAN, hp yang kena pijak, almari yang pecah, eroy & sobri (awww), poly, football matches, seliuh saya yang di rawat, tumpang jeep, and a funeral. hmmmmm........

i was thinking of putting the burner off, but i decided to let it burn because i want to erase that hurtful memories and replace it with "now". i figure, kalau sudah selalu terhidu tu nanti jadi la tiada maksud sudah this smell. kononnya 2004 tu kena overwrite la. hard, but i'll manage. sayang juga mo let go of my smell-memory, because everytime tarik nafas, i feel macam i'm back in 2004. drama drama, i know!

mungkin org detail macam saya ne tiada dua nya kalau di sabah.

me, my failures...

i started my 2008 on May last year (was a late start) and ended my 2007 on June (double year in 2008??). i ended my 2008 by December last year, but still, it feels like i just started my 2009 this month (what's with May?). don't even ask what happen between Jan-Apr. my head was on vacation.

since most people would start with new years resolution, i'd start with my failures (because i'm not most people). so my boringness starts here :) read on people.

1. i can never floss right. still until today, the hard to reach teeth are....hard to reach. my bro bilang kasi panjang bah tu floss, then baru i understand why the floss d jual panjang berjela-jela which seems hard to finish. i always buy new ones if ilang sija. namanya habis floss memang nda pernah. so i tried kasi panjang2 and lilit dulu di jari. but still i can't floss right. in that vunerable position of opened mouth, my saliva jatuh macam org kena sawan yang can't control their body behavior. i should search in youtube or something on how to floss gigi geraham. eeeewwwww, i know.

2. i can never force myself to clean my room. it's always "nanti nanti nanti, ujung minggu". and when weekend comes i'd rush to work sebab "weekend customers" kan byk. jadi i don't know when actually i have time to do it. bilik ada nampak clear skit kalau it's laundry day (so in my defense, saya bukan hambur barang, cuma laundry saja kasi semak bilik). wait until BAC read dis, they sure have something else to say. kalau dulu mau tidur di bilik asrama saya, tpaksa tangan dorg jadi wiper untuk surung semua barang "out of the way" if dorg mau limpang di katil.

3. talking bout time management, i can never manage my time. yet i always complain about not having enough time. kalau driving slalu pun marah2 macik or pacik di depan yang pandu slow2. "apa kamu punya satu hari 30 jam ka until u can drive so slow??". i think most of my time is wasted on complaining about other people.

4. saya selalu mengata org. i need to change. i guess semua org pun suka mengumpat, n bual2 kosong bout other people, but that need to stop. byk dosa lain i can collect (like lying to my mummy that i'd clean my room soon)

5. BREAK MATI. selalu pun time driving saya break mati. nanti kalau sudah mau tukar break-pad, buat muka 3sen sama si daddy. tapi mesti kena reject sebab duit 1sen nda kena trima bank sudah. adehhhhhhhh

6. cuci kereta???? saya mo cuci kereta??? cukup la satu kali ja dulu...i'd rather send it to the car wash

7. satu lagi bual2 kosong yang famous dlm BAC "mari kita p main badminton" <<< nah this never took place ok. never. selalu pun bjanji, nanti slalu pun ada something come up yang menyebabkan kami nda pegi. add-on BAC si ajik (wawing c nony, my cuzen) lagi kick, siap tanya "kalau mo men badminton mau sewa court brapa la tu?" nah kalau mau free mari jogging di likas. ini jogging lagi bkurun sudah di janji tapi nda pernah berlaku. hanya bila masa BAC ada tournament netball baru mo p training. itu pun byk complain.

8. buka kedai 10.30am is a never. NEVER. 10.30 am tu baru mo cari kunci kereta (30 minit punya crita)

9. urusan-urusan official dgn office (bank or tenant management) itu adalah bukan saya yang urus. saya-nda-pandai-berurusan-di-office. nasib kerja sendiri.

10. one night, i saw this desperate housewives punya ceta where edie n susan tstuck di bawah (bawah mana i pun tak tau). and edie mbentang kertas to make a time-line on when susan is actually "out of man", which is near to never. i think i should do that too. although 2009 is paktoh year, tapi since i just started my 2009, i still can make amendments. myb i should take a break on being with anyone. i just wanna be with me...

i think 10 is enough. i'm still working on some. hope i'd succeed this time. watch out for another failure list on May 2010. i hope my list gets shorter.

when i dream

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

I could build a mansion that is higher than the trees
I could have all the gifts I want and never ask please
I could fly to Paris,it's at my beck and call
Why do I live my life alone with nothing at all?

But when I dream, I dream of you
Maybe someday you will come true

But when I dream, I dream of you
Maybe someday you will come true...

I can be the singer or the clown in every room
I can call up someone to take me to the moon
I can put my makeup on and drive the men insane
I can go to bed alone and never know his name

But when I dream, I dream of you
Maybe someday you will come true

But when I dream, I dream of you
Maybe someday you will come true...

today feels a lot like my birthday...
get more than i wanted...

out of norm

dis few days,
i've forced myself to adjust to new rituals
(how can it be 'rituals' if it's new?)
uuugggghhhh
i can't stand it
i can't stand it
i can't stand it

i'm stationed at karamunsing until this week ends,
half of my time is spent baby-sitting
(c amir kencing di pangkuan me lagi)
[sepa suruh me lambat bgn p teman dia kencing]
everything seems like out of place
2 minggu sudah me tidak off from work

missing some things are not healthy
:(
praying for next week to come sooner

Bojangles

last night, after making sure my sister is already asleep, me n my bro went out to take air (ambil angin kah kah kah)...actually it's just an excuse, dia tu bru beli cd, jadi mau setting2 sound dlm kreta. mula2 start enjin ja, nda lama bergerak pula kami.

bila sampai ja near kg.likas, perut mula meragam. o.m.g. ini mesti sebab gastrik yang belum surut2 itu. sometimes when i missed my meal, n when i eat later, ini lah jadinya. CARI TANDASSSSS

dgn rileknya my bro turn n entered masjid likas. okay. now this feels so wrong, adakah mau p masjid utk p tandas? mcm nda ngam ok. mcm pakai senduk nasi utk kaut gula. nda ngam. mengganggu kemashalahatan. tapi then i remember, i paid zakat dua tahun sudah. di sinilah mungkin duit zakat saya di salur kan, di masjid bandaraya.

bila masuk ja masjid dgn keadaan bergegas, i think tukang jaga di pondok tu sudah boleh baca at that hour of nite mesti saya masuk sb mau ke tandas. (ok i'm gonna talk mean about masjid ne, i know this is so wrong. bagi yang tidak mau baca, skip trus ke perenggan seterusnya). bulih2 sudah saya limpas tu tukang jaga not long after cornering to the toilet dia pegi tutup lampu to that path. okay, mcm gimme a break here man. saya tertanya2, mana pergi duit zakat saya kalau begini (jawapan yang betul ialah duit zakat di bagi dgn org yang memerlukan). jadi saya skrg memerlukan, mengapa hak saya di rampas? kakakaka drama drama i know.

saya akhirnya terpaksa pegi petronas likas. trima kasih petronas dan kad mesra. sekian laporan tentang sakit perut.

bila on the way home, kami lalu lagi masjid bandaraya. terus teringat my encounter 4-5 weeks ago. when driving to work on Fridays (Friday kami buka kedai after Prayers), saya lalu di masjid likas. salah pilih jalan, sebab sesak time org mau keluar masjid. tapi once ada lelaki yang lalu dpn kereta saya tu, terus minggu2 seterusnya i don't mind "salah jalan".

lelaki sekitar masjid bandaraya, sekitar waktu lepas solat, semua adalah lelaki yang berpotensi okay? bila cakap lelaki di sabah ne tiada harapan, i think that's harsh. ada bah juga lelaki muda (and hopefully bojangles [bujang]) yang kakinya di masjid n bukan di clubs saja. lelaki yang saya maksudkan limpas depan kereta tu bukan sembarang lelaki ok. dia lelaki yang bisa bikin saya tekan break kuat2 sebab takut angin dari kereta saya would hurt his handsome-ness. dia nampak macam arjuna pendekar Islam gitu. jubah dan seluar lapisnya sampai atas mata kaki (buku lali). uwah, lelaki berIman yang gentar dgn hukum Isbal (melabuhkan pakaian melebihi mata kaki). serban arab di ikat di kepala macam penyanyi indonesia yang i-don't-know-the-name. ikatan moden gitu, menampilkan diri sebagai pemuda yang zuhud sekaligus sedar-trend. 4-5minggu yang lalu kami bertembung mata. hati saya tetap deg-degan sampai hari ni. muda, tapi tetap menjaga sunnah nabi utk simpan janggut walau hanya segenggam.

kalau perempuan bisa propose, sudah lama i step out from my car.............
.......and propose him a car ride (kamu pikir propose kahwin??)

masih ada harapan di luar sana...
okay saya mengada-ngada saya tau. keke. sekian.

attitude change!

buat baik berpada-pada,
buat jahat jangan sekali....










buat lah dua tiga kali,
atau berkali-kali hahahaha

ok now that's so wrong ok...kalau sudah di tegur, mesti mau ubah sikap, maka mesti mau ubah...kita mesti tau garisan kita (direct translation of "u must know ur line"), mesti hormat perasaan dan garisan org lain, okeh? okeeehhh....

impian saya

if all else fails (whatever i'm planning now), i'm so gonna switch lane. saya mau jadi pengacara NONA...........

......sebab kebanyakkan mereka will marry really rich org kenamaan and some even hit the jackpot of marrying Sultan,ok? bukan anak Sultan, tapi Sultan itu sendiri.

bukan material atau pun high-maintanence (hush u guys), cuma apa la salahnya sometimes tu kerana all else fails kan, kena lah sedap2 kan ati sendiri dgn angan2 luar dunia.bila sudah jadi bini tan sri (see, i told u saya nda material, saya puas hati settle with Tan Sri pun ok), this would be my everyday life :

• bila turun ja dari kereta, di depan 1B sudah ada org sambut sama red carpet. "Puan Sri..." begitu lah org greet saya. tapi turun tetap maintain nda payah pegang tangan org yang tukang buka pintu tu. jaga hati laki memang begitu. tangan laki ja boleh pegang tau.
  
• bila masuk ja 1B, org Habib Jewel senyum sinis ready mo kasi keluar diamond2 nya yang ada sijil tu (diamond pun ada lulus ujian diploma ada sijil gitu jgn main2). stakat diamond2 tu saya pakai hari2 time mandi pun tidak tanggal tau.
• hah? nine west? apa tu? braun buffel geng mainan skrg "kamu ada ka yang winter edition 40k punya price tu?" oh of cuz bukan saya yang buka mulut kalau tanya harga. everytime bejalan, saya ada 7 dayang2 'pengampu' yang ready utk berkhidmat. masuk ja kedai, trus dorg whisper sama shopkeeper tu "ini isteri Tan Sri X, sila tutup kedai awak. tidak lari 50k dia blanja sini, i guarantee"
• bila suami tu outstation pegi Peru atau ke mana2, time salam cium tgn mst dia tanya, "sayang ada duit rumah masih? 5k cukup ka untuk seminggu?" tarik la muka munjung confirm dpt triple pay kakakaka
• ujung2 minggu nda main la pegi sipadan segala. saya mau pegi LUNDUN (London).

behhh kalau angan2, Jehan nombor 1. kasih amin ja la, nda juga kesampaian. my life right now? nothing to be complained about :D

in a man...

ok muktamad, in a man, i want him to be like this. like this, okay?
sumpah nda cari lain kekekekeke
Javier Bardem, stared in Goya's Ghost..
puhhhhhh kick joe crita dia...
half of it is because dia yg blakon...
tho he's a man of God in the story,
tapi dia masi nampak hot thru that long robe okkkkaaayyy...
kalau ada begini duduk2 di Inanam,
saya pegi tu usaha kakakakaka

what's my age?

yesterday while hanging with noney, somebody joined in...
tripping berkenalan la konon...
nasib cute, kalau nda memang angkat kaki cabutssssssssss...

when asking bout age,
dgn slambanya i answer
"oh saya nda la 22, saya baru ja turned 23, but this year i'd be 24. but i just trun 23, like baru ok"

how can i be in 3 age at one time?
saya pun nda paham
i wasn't trying to be young
i was just explaining kakakakaka
i need to see people more
period

award bersungguh-sungguh

saya betul2 bersungguh-sungguh bila saya sedar masa tidak tunggu saya
(jadi kenapa la saya tunggu benda-benda lain sedangkan masa tidak tunggu saya)
well apa2 pun, i was refering time and work, sorry sidetrack pula kejap
saya bersungguh-sungguh mau siapkan kerja
amanah tu, nanti di soal di akhirat
ketar2 kaki dpn malaikat (baby angel, dog angel, apple angel, sandwich angel -- hanya rena tau ini apa maksud -- shh jgn bagitau org lain, tapi there's no such thing as angel yang wujud di akhirat sb mati di dunia)
sorry, sidetrack lagi
seems like kebelakangan ne begitu la hidup saya
byk masa di buang pegi sidetrack2 ne
actually saya tu mo bagitau
saya mengantuk
sebab saya bersungguh-sungguh (kata rena atas nama jihad)
saya berjaya hit target siapkan jahit manik baju dgn motto
satu hari, satu baju
apa pikir kita punya Prime Minister ja ka pandai buat motto 1Malaysia tu
nahh kan sidetrack lagi
cranky tau kalau nda cukup tidur
Yaya bilang kalau mo gorgeous kena slalu tidur lewat2 kekekek
dia jalan2 pegi kk pakai PJs ja n mata bengkak pun dia tetap gorgeous berbanding org lain di kk okayyy...
off to bed! 3.02am

few random notes

tau la kan, saya buat blog macam personal notes bah. layannnnn

1. baru2 ne ada org cakap begini "eeehh sudah lah ko! jgn pegang2 ne, ini bekas bf aku pakai karang dia lagi suka sama ko!" itu lah klu org sudah marah...pek pek! sorry aaahhh...

2. len kali kalau pegi bbq hotpot bawa lelaki, kasi dkt2 muka sama grillnya tu, supaya keluar merah2 di muka (sebab kena panas). baru trip cute sebab ada blushing2 kakakaka layannnnn...tapi peringatan, jgn tlampau dekat nanti kena minyak menggoreng sotong tu,k? n duduk dkt heat controller tu...so kasih panas tym mo kasih dekat muka kekeke

3. lelaki di sabah, tiada harapan

4. since i lost my phone, saya macam hampir gila tanpa music. kalau lagi tym kerja, uinah, patung bah di bawa bcakap. i need a new phone daddy please daddy

4.5 (penambahan selepas blog di post)...and in my phone i have millions of numbers that i don't have any idea how to get back...sedihhhhhhhhhh...ada org suggest p OCS, tapi kalau incoming call nda kan ada dlm log juga? then cemana saya mo dpt number ituuuuu :'( and txt, and pix, and videos...semua di tangan durjana yang mencuri itu...saya cuma mampu doakan mudahan itu la last item he ever steal

5. mum bilang me makin kurus since they left...kalau lah dia tau me baru ja gastrik ari tu, pasti di leter kaw kaw punya...then when kami mo titun semalam...i whispered to my sis..."kalau mum bilang ayang makin kurus, then, dpt la ayang cuba skinny jeans uya tu kan?" uiinahh...my sis smp duduk bah ketawa tbahak2...ya la, sepa la paha saya ini...

6. dlm calender kerja saya, nda lama lagi mo raya...okehh...kenapa macam saya malas jahit manik tu aahh?? kena lagi la tahun ne...

7. i ran out of ideas. i know, i'm boring.

8. kena bommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm alamak guard guard

9. ada org dlm FB saya yang rupa dia macam paris hilton, and it's like, not fair okay? because she's my idol...paris, i can be your bff hahahaha malam2 saya mimpi paris dgn tongkat diamond dia n tunjuk me and say "babe, u r now my favourite pet" woot woot dat's hot gorgeous!

i think...

i think...
early in the morning my gastric sudah left the building,
but my guess was wrong. it's still there, so there. wrestling session nda sgt teruk macam kemarin, today i made sure i ate every other hour

i think...
tadi when saya naik escalator the uncle freak di blakang was staring at my feet,
he was actually staring at my bum. uncle, i am young enough to be your daughter.
see how smart i am not highlighting that he's old enough to be my father, saya muda ok, yang penting saya muda.

i think...
lelaki di McD tu yang di blakang tmpt assemble burger tu dia ada status quo.
that's it, no explaination needed. dia memang ada status quo.
kerana bila anda minta extra anything, dia akan pastikan si gadis counter punch +0.50

i think...
waiting on something uncertain itu adalah unhealthy.
maybe i should stop waiting, and pray more that the right answers will come my way? kalau minta jawapan dari Bos di Atas, mesti dapat tu kan. with that i ask Him to deliver strength as well.
i'd be fine, dulu cedera parah dari ini pun i'm still here blogging about it, right? paling certain, kalau makan kfc bikin kenyang. apa barang pikir pasal duit n benda-benda (material or non-material) yang bukan Hak. batilllllll....

i think...
matlamat tidak menghalal kan cara.
itu adalah benar. ko set la apa yang di mau, tapi jalan cara kita usaha kena cara yang betul.
no explaination needed.

i think...
tadi during tgk ceta, my phone vibrate? couldn't be...
it was my tummy yang masih gastric. tahniah

i think...
i should win an award dalam 'org paling bersungguh-sungguh'. if there's no such award, they should create one.
and for certain, saya yang patut menang.

i think...
SH al-attas adalah betul bila dia cakap cicak di dinding tiada sayap pun mampu makan benda yang terbang and susah di tangkap.
cicak yang tiada sayap pun tidak makan bangkai yang terdampar begitu sahaja.
but, undeniably, byk org di luar sana bukan saja makan sampah, tapi makan bangkai juga itulah sebabnya banyak yang gila segala2. byk gaya dorg yang sukar di tafsir. hati busukkkkk

i think...
status quo is still on.
apa ne bro, rilek la, sepa bilang ini competition (tho saya yang menang award paling bersungguh2). kita semua kena ada mentaliti 'rilek la bro', ok?
jgn la sorong tarik sorong tarik, u r giving status quo a bad name dude. ujung2 sendiri pun tidak tau skrg turn mo sorong atau mau tarik. bak kata EZAT, apa barang men pasang men tanggal men pasang men tanggal. sekali cakap ja saya sudah tau, nda payah ulang2 dgn status quo tu.

i think...
abang Quiksilver tu mesti impressed on pilihan batik saya (sb awak dtg balik hehe)
SAYA HARAP AWAK DTG LAGI.
tho saya tidak akan butang atau sarungkan lagi batik, awak tau kan itu bukan dlm job description saya kekekeke...

i think...
some people pasang 'allies' di blakang,
boleh tu boleh. tapi pastikan ianya ada hasil. byk dosa lain lagi yang boleh kita pungut, jgn la buat dosa talam two face.
apa pun kata mu, tidak payah pasang alibi yang sgt shout out to the world punya style ok?
slow n steady ja k...

i think this is too much already...