random

was browsing thru facebook, bila one ad di tepi caught my attention (bukan macam ad colgate HALAL atau maximum cleavage tu ah). it's Muslim name for babies..awww..*mid-life crisis!* too early for a mid-life crisis i think, tapi this week all i can think of is babies babies babiessss...myb because bro is getting MARRIED kan jadi i know next i'm gonna be push in the spotlight..next raya mesti saya la yang selalu di tanya "bila mau kawin?"..

i'm just gonna flash my gold ring and say i bought it myself :P
suka hatiiiiiiiiii

btw, dgn suka hatinya, kerana byk masa sgt, i browse the page and me booking satu nama! dari dulu lagi me sudah booking, tapi now officially i'm telling u all k...

	Islamic Name Badge
	Abdul Shakur = Servant of the Most Thankful.

only mine would be Abd as-Syakur...abd tu bukan short for Abdul ok. it's just Abd. alif ba dhal.

ok, enough with that. few updates...this saturday kalau tiada halangan and semua org ada, we would be playing netball woot woot woot! lama sudah tidak mainnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn...rindu!!! harap2 jadi...

then i'm so anxious to go kl this coming 23-24th...for...something la...nanti kalau sudah masuk bulan 7, the second week, insyaAllah kalau nda sibuk sgt then i'd start. and u r gonna hear from me alright. saya kan loud speaker, apa saja saya buat pasti kamu tau. can't wait for that! harap2 ada sambutan! :D

aiyoo...penat pg bgojjing (jogging)...off to bed now...
tc & ttyl
i'm waiting for my blogger-mind to come back...

oh come back mojo come back!

before May leaves us...

saya agak sensitif ya kalau isu bulan May.
kepada sesiapa yang bercadang untuk jaga hati saya,
sila jot down, bahawa; saya dan May takkan serasi seperti 2 tahun lepas.
tapi i doubt anybody's gonna jot that down (except si bestie, dia nda payah jot down, masuk otak dia secara auto jo),
sebab if soal taking into consideration people punya feelings saya la pemenang.
macam marah pula intonasi saya menaip ne.
bukan marah,
penat.

so before May leaves us,
i just wanna make it clear,
mungkin saya bukan la moved on sangat kan.
i mean, itu adalah forgiveable ba kan?
maybe some (someone) are meant to share bigger parts of the heart,
tho akhirnya bukan semestinya menjadi pemenang.
tak brapa forgiveable,
sudah erase tapi belum move on.
TAK TELLY OK

May lalu,
cita-cita saya....
aduiiii sakit di ingat balik
nda pa la, i'd call besti besok, i'd tell her apa tu cita-cita
(sebab dia sija yang care tu)
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ok ok quickly i'd tell last May cita-cita saya nanti ada masa yang sesuai antara my birthday dan birthday yang bulan depannya tu kalau jumlah hari antara dua birthday itu di divide kepada dua akan dapat satu hari in the middle between birthday saya dan birthday yang the otheR dan hari itu lah hari yang sesuai untuk dam dam dadamm...dam dam dadammm...tapi syukur alhamdulillah bukan rezeki maksudnya mesti ada yang lebih baik. habis cerita. the end. bye. gudnyt. saya baru 23 mau masuk 24.

me, my failures...

i started my 2008 on May last year (was a late start) and ended my 2007 on June (double year in 2008??). i ended my 2008 by December last year, but still, it feels like i just started my 2009 this month (what's with May?). don't even ask what happen between Jan-Apr. my head was on vacation.

since most people would start with new years resolution, i'd start with my failures (because i'm not most people). so my boringness starts here :) read on people.

1. i can never floss right. still until today, the hard to reach teeth are....hard to reach. my bro bilang kasi panjang bah tu floss, then baru i understand why the floss d jual panjang berjela-jela which seems hard to finish. i always buy new ones if ilang sija. namanya habis floss memang nda pernah. so i tried kasi panjang2 and lilit dulu di jari. but still i can't floss right. in that vunerable position of opened mouth, my saliva jatuh macam org kena sawan yang can't control their body behavior. i should search in youtube or something on how to floss gigi geraham. eeeewwwww, i know.

2. i can never force myself to clean my room. it's always "nanti nanti nanti, ujung minggu". and when weekend comes i'd rush to work sebab "weekend customers" kan byk. jadi i don't know when actually i have time to do it. bilik ada nampak clear skit kalau it's laundry day (so in my defense, saya bukan hambur barang, cuma laundry saja kasi semak bilik). wait until BAC read dis, they sure have something else to say. kalau dulu mau tidur di bilik asrama saya, tpaksa tangan dorg jadi wiper untuk surung semua barang "out of the way" if dorg mau limpang di katil.

3. talking bout time management, i can never manage my time. yet i always complain about not having enough time. kalau driving slalu pun marah2 macik or pacik di depan yang pandu slow2. "apa kamu punya satu hari 30 jam ka until u can drive so slow??". i think most of my time is wasted on complaining about other people.

4. saya selalu mengata org. i need to change. i guess semua org pun suka mengumpat, n bual2 kosong bout other people, but that need to stop. byk dosa lain i can collect (like lying to my mummy that i'd clean my room soon)

5. BREAK MATI. selalu pun time driving saya break mati. nanti kalau sudah mau tukar break-pad, buat muka 3sen sama si daddy. tapi mesti kena reject sebab duit 1sen nda kena trima bank sudah. adehhhhhhhh

6. cuci kereta???? saya mo cuci kereta??? cukup la satu kali ja dulu...i'd rather send it to the car wash

7. satu lagi bual2 kosong yang famous dlm BAC "mari kita p main badminton" <<< nah this never took place ok. never. selalu pun bjanji, nanti slalu pun ada something come up yang menyebabkan kami nda pegi. add-on BAC si ajik (wawing c nony, my cuzen) lagi kick, siap tanya "kalau mo men badminton mau sewa court brapa la tu?" nah kalau mau free mari jogging di likas. ini jogging lagi bkurun sudah di janji tapi nda pernah berlaku. hanya bila masa BAC ada tournament netball baru mo p training. itu pun byk complain.

8. buka kedai 10.30am is a never. NEVER. 10.30 am tu baru mo cari kunci kereta (30 minit punya crita)

9. urusan-urusan official dgn office (bank or tenant management) itu adalah bukan saya yang urus. saya-nda-pandai-berurusan-di-office. nasib kerja sendiri.

10. one night, i saw this desperate housewives punya ceta where edie n susan tstuck di bawah (bawah mana i pun tak tau). and edie mbentang kertas to make a time-line on when susan is actually "out of man", which is near to never. i think i should do that too. although 2009 is paktoh year, tapi since i just started my 2009, i still can make amendments. myb i should take a break on being with anyone. i just wanna be with me...

i think 10 is enough. i'm still working on some. hope i'd succeed this time. watch out for another failure list on May 2010. i hope my list gets shorter.

impian saya

if all else fails (whatever i'm planning now), i'm so gonna switch lane. saya mau jadi pengacara NONA...........

......sebab kebanyakkan mereka will marry really rich org kenamaan and some even hit the jackpot of marrying Sultan,ok? bukan anak Sultan, tapi Sultan itu sendiri.

bukan material atau pun high-maintanence (hush u guys), cuma apa la salahnya sometimes tu kerana all else fails kan, kena lah sedap2 kan ati sendiri dgn angan2 luar dunia.bila sudah jadi bini tan sri (see, i told u saya nda material, saya puas hati settle with Tan Sri pun ok), this would be my everyday life :

• bila turun ja dari kereta, di depan 1B sudah ada org sambut sama red carpet. "Puan Sri..." begitu lah org greet saya. tapi turun tetap maintain nda payah pegang tangan org yang tukang buka pintu tu. jaga hati laki memang begitu. tangan laki ja boleh pegang tau.
  
• bila masuk ja 1B, org Habib Jewel senyum sinis ready mo kasi keluar diamond2 nya yang ada sijil tu (diamond pun ada lulus ujian diploma ada sijil gitu jgn main2). stakat diamond2 tu saya pakai hari2 time mandi pun tidak tanggal tau.
• hah? nine west? apa tu? braun buffel geng mainan skrg "kamu ada ka yang winter edition 40k punya price tu?" oh of cuz bukan saya yang buka mulut kalau tanya harga. everytime bejalan, saya ada 7 dayang2 'pengampu' yang ready utk berkhidmat. masuk ja kedai, trus dorg whisper sama shopkeeper tu "ini isteri Tan Sri X, sila tutup kedai awak. tidak lari 50k dia blanja sini, i guarantee"
• bila suami tu outstation pegi Peru atau ke mana2, time salam cium tgn mst dia tanya, "sayang ada duit rumah masih? 5k cukup ka untuk seminggu?" tarik la muka munjung confirm dpt triple pay kakakaka
• ujung2 minggu nda main la pegi sipadan segala. saya mau pegi LUNDUN (London).

behhh kalau angan2, Jehan nombor 1. kasih amin ja la, nda juga kesampaian. my life right now? nothing to be complained about :D

portals

two nights ago i was watching tv with mummy n sis (surprisingly i was home early,jarang2 itu jo). we were watching a cooking show, and while watching, i chuckled on my little inside joke. trus mummy tgk me, heran. "ayang ketawa kenapa?". i know, 99.9% she's already actually sure what i'm laughing at -- myself. "mummy nda tau la kalau ayang len kali macam mana, kapisan la laki mu nda makan ahh. njaang nasi (masak nasi) pun kala-kala kaas (keras), ani kan lagi masak yang macam alam tv ani. hidih. jaga ko laki mu aie lain, kapisan nda makan."

yes, mummy is always right. she knows i chuckled at myself thinking that i dunno how to cook. but to my defense, saya itu ada ok dalam memasak nasi, okay? cuma mummy ada taste tersendiri yang susah mau di fahami kalau dalam ketepatan lembut/keras nasi. half whispering, i said "mum...kalau masak bubur cemana?"

i guess that boiled my mum! (no pun intended)
she looked at me and said...."nasib la ayang pandai mengaji, kalau nda, 3000 pun mummy malu mo minta" hidihhhhhhhhhhhhh nda ulah juwa jemu..

so, sejajar dgn itu, me n ren (we should go hunting together) i think kami perlu tgk2 buku di pops untuk ajar2 kami masakan gulai masak lemak or whatever. permintaan perut lelaki extreme n mengada2,okayyy. len kali i bagi makan telur n hotdog ja baru tak tauuuuu. confirm 3 bulan lepas tu turun naik court huhuhu

kalau dulu yang penting itu adalah STATUS QUO (menyesal i blogged about status quo, now semua org tau n mau pertahankan status quo masing2) now kita ada benda baru yang equally important which is PORTALS. so since somebody "somebody" closed their portal -- and i closed half of mine already -- i think me and that girl yang sudah "taken" di RHB should join a new portal yang saya baru buka di DBKK. okay mereka adalah hot,okay? girl! cari kasut sukan ko! we're going to practise badminton like champions baru boleh ajak org hehehehehe

BUKA PORTAL GITUEEEE

p/s: people shud be more appreciative, because, saya bukan hati batu okayyy...BAC grrrrrrrr

odd revelation

Pangarap Ko
maging isang tulay
hindi ko mapipigil ano man sabihin nila
Matarik man ang natatanaw
ibig mo parin ang
ang siyang sumisigaw
Pangarap Ko
maging isang tulay
hindi ko papaigil mga tao nais narin makatawid
labis ko sayo lamang itatanaw
ibig ko ito ang siyang sumisigaw.
'di na kailangan ng tahanan
sapat na ba ang pag-ibig?
hindi ito ang oras isipin
ang sarili at ang sariling ambisyon
Pangarap Ko
maging isang tulay
hindi ko mapipigil ano man sabihin nila
matarik man ang natatanaw pag-ibig mo parin ang siyang isisigaw...
***
ako ay palaging maghintay, kahit gaano katagal...
dahil ang puso ay dito upang manatili...
(nda payah di cari, biar ja saya yang tau)
favourite song ko para sempre!
my favourite song forever! :P
(walaupun tida ku tahu maksudnya sepenuhnya huehuehue)

dilemma

it's a new year, new account book (kunun la), new things to buy, new target to achieve, new budget to make. dlm 2009 yang kononnya saya akan menderita kerana double ASB yang di buat (tahun lalu beriya-iya, skrg rasa la membayar), nampak gayanya old habits day hard. i still want to spend money. on unnecessary things lagi tu. matai laini.

the top things that i want is
1. new laptop
2. new phone
3. upgrade sound kreta
4. ipodddddddddddd

number one tu maybe i can tahan2 lagi, sebab di rumah ne ja sudah ada 3 biji laptop, so i can choose whichever...maybe itu i cancel la dulu (unless c daddy mo belikan) so 1 is laptop out.

then u think now simple la tinggal 3 lagi kan. for a phone, i was thinking of Nokia E71 because saya suka itu qwerty keypad. mesti menaip laju gila trus tu kannnnnn.... and then saya juga bercita-cita untuk upgrade sound kreta.... my bro bilang all in all myb 800++ la (wth?)... tp itu pasti seronok bila kreta saya sudah tum tum tum berjalan2 di kk kannnn...hehehehe....and lastly tu ipod because yang baru sudah keluar kan, i wanted to have one dari first time kuar lagi, tapi that time saya beli my SLR tu (kalau beli both nda kan saya punya perut xmakan, ini perut bukan cas di dinding ah untuk kasi full)

so i prayed, tunjukkan lah yang mana satu i should spend my money on. pls pls pls ya-Khaliq, beri petunjuk Mu pd hamba mu yang lemah dgn nafsu serakah ini hahahahahaha

masalahnya begini.....
when i open c amy punya blog ada la pula dia mblogging pasal ipod yang bru di adoptnya itu...
so dgn gembiranya, saya terima itu petunjuk dari Atas bahawa i should go ahead sama tu ipod....
TETAPI...
bila saya bfon sama perut uyui kg ketiau tu,
saya terima lagi satu petunjuk dari Atas...
sebab bila dia nek keta n start enjin, secara otomatik soundnya terblast...
jadi saya pun bingung?
itu petunjuk juga ka?
myb i should lean more towards yang lg berfaedah (read:sound kreta)
i was thissssss close on making my decision
TETAPI...
bila saya mau tidur malam,
saya tgk fon saya ada 3 txt belum baca...
aik skrg vibrate pun tu phone tida pandai sudah?
nah sah rosak...
astaghfirullah, ini pun petunjuk ka?

jadi mana satu mo ambil dulu ne?
i have to start praying lagi balik ne tau...
(or apply personal loan and beli semua hahahaha)
Rena di RHB yang ajar

KAMI EMO

Jika memang diriku bukanlah menjadi pilihan hatimu
Mungkin sudah takdirnya kau dan aku takkan mungkin bersatu

Harus slalu kau tahu
Ku mencintamu disepanjang waktuku
Harus slalu kau tahu
Semua abadi untuk slamanya

Karena ku yakin cinta dalam hatiku
Hanya milikmu sampai akhir hidupku
Karena ku yakin disetiap hembus nafasku
Hanya dirimu satu yang slalu ku rindu

Jika memang diriku bukanlah menjadi pilihan hatimu...

lirik lagu Ungu tajuk Aku Bukan Pilihan Hati Mu.
dedikasi khas untuk Norafzan Azahari yang melalui tempoh emo (just like me)
tapi nda pa, tenang tenang
semua tenang ya
usah ribut ribut
kalau nda berjaya,
saya akan pastikan saya masih juga melalui fasa 'kompang di palu, pengantin malu'
if nda di dunia,
nda pa di akhirat pun jadiiiiiiiii lah
ini soal jodoh ne nda bue soal lebih2 ne
nanti kena sambar petir hehe
tapi ADA ORG TU nda suka cakap kena sambar petir
nda bagus bilang nya
mbah
iya la di sambar burger mushroom la okkkkk...

aku sakit gigi

pagi-pagi lagi aku bangun penuh keluh kesah. bukan dgn syukur, atau salawat ke atas Nabi Junjungan. tapi dengan penuh hiba....'GIGI AKU SAKITTTTTTT'.

sejak kemarin lagi rasanya mulai lain rasa (berbelit bahasa org sakit gigi ne tau). nina yang sakit gigi sempat lagi ku doa kan syafakallah syifaan ajilan, syifaan la yughadiru ba'dahu saqaman (saja tunjunk starring sb baru di hafal dari buku). akhirnya aku harap org yang bacakan aku Syafakallah. bengkak nya gusi bukan main. sah aku terjangkit dari nina melalui sms hahahahaha (lawak xbrapa bijak).

sepanjang hari duduk lesu, tiada mood. gigit nasi pun kurang nikmatnya. tapi kenyang tetap kenyang! tgk di cermin, cek gigi. terus rasa lagi lagi tiada mood! Gigi depan ne parah betul sudah buruknya....sudah 7 bulan i keep on pushing myself to go to the dentist to fill it. but everytime mau pegi pun in my heart i'd say 'ah malas lah, karang di ceknya gigi ne, bukan satu tapi 4 yg mau di tambal! malas mau dgr doktor Arab tu berceramah'. bukan apa, nda juga boleh tambal 4 one go kan. aku pun bukan selalu boleh dpt cuti (kalau cuti pun mau pegi bfoya, bukan mo meradu sakit!). if buat 4 dalam satu hari, kering la aku bulan tu membayar tambal gigi. percuma-cuma lah dpt gigi yang usai n dpt mengunyah, tapi apa lagi mau di kunyah kalau dlm mulut saja harganya sudah 2-3ratus...

Planning 200entah (that's vocalize as dua ribu entah, as in i dunno in what year will i fully achieve semuanya)
1. kumpul duit untuk tambal gigi
2. tambal gigi rabbit yang menjadi aset utama dalam mengurat (it works i tell u!)
3. kerja lebih kuat.
4. kerja lebih kuat.
5. kerja lebih kuat.
6. jgn berbelanja on unnecessary stuff like baju, bag, knick knacks.
7. my trip pg tomei hari tu adalah trip TERAKHIR sehingga lah aku balik umrah.
8. kumpul duit lagi untuk persiapan umrah (baju kurung, ihram, belanja)
9. TIDAK BOLEH SELALU MAKAN SEDAP2 sebab itu mahal & membazir. membazir itu saubat syaitan.
10. berjimat on phone bill
11. pastikan tiap2 bulan bajet cukup untuk bayar ASB

daripada nombor 1 sampai 11 (aku yakin ada penambahan), it seems like mengecil lah ruang sosial ku jadinya bila semua yang di buat di kengkang kewangan. friends, aku tarik diri sebagai big spender. silakan penuhkan ruang kosong ku. makasi.

MasyaAllah. patutnya kita selalu bersyukur dan jgn terlalu berkira. Mudah2an di buka pintu rezeki dan rezeki yang ada skrang pula sentiasa berkah...insyaAllah makbul menjelang Maal Hijrah.

gigi ku sakit! bila lah dia mo berenti tumbuh ne, besar betul my wisdom ne sampai 1 tahun lebih masih belum stop meng'wisdom' kan diri. gusi ku kimut-kimut. aduiii...

money....does make the world go round....

harap kawan-kawan ku mau di bawa makan roti kosong lepas ne. Tuhan bantu aku, amin.

life, being single

it was SCARY at first, for the thoughts of being single made me huru-hara inside. how would it feel to be single? hmmmm....bila fikir lama-lama, i was never really single (since i started dating lah). i was out courting one and the next one when i'm done. i guess, i'm the type who can't stand being alone maybe?

ok, so that sounded bad. perhaps i was the flirty type.

.... *cricket sound* oh well, there is no sane way for me untuk membela diri. i date people ok, i happen to be the lucky one who's always courting, right.

sekali i went single dis time....adehhhhhhhhhhhhh...let me share with you ah how it felt.

1. now, i'm always the 3rd wheel when i'm out with my friends yang nda single.
2. then even the single friends pun ada love interest. jiey? kosong.
3. ..... *cricket sound* susah bah me mau describe dis babe, tapi it just sucks big time!

suddenly, si jiey, so hyperactive ne. hari-hari pun
work, work, work
sale, sale, sale
pastu if sudah dpt byk hasil kerja yang keras
buy, buy, buy (ya betul Ren, saya jenis tidak sayang duit, but wait until ko kenal nina. pengsan ko tgk dia spend)
pastu kalau sudah sedih
pray, pray, pray harder
kalau sudah hati gusar,
semua benda mau di kemas, mau di bersihkan.

mom : sejak bila pandai bersih ne bilik? ur bathroom pun u scrub every other day?
me : mom, itu dulu. xpandai bkemas. messy sepah segala tu bukan cara hidup Islamic mom, semak serabut ayang tinguk

padahal... roll eyes 2x big time!

nina bilang, eleeeeeehhh bersih2 tu practice hidup cari laki.
so wrong. my paktoh year is 2009.

for now, i'm gonna be single.
lonely...but not alone!
i have Allah with me.......hasbunallah wanikmal wakil
BAC pun karas bah di blakang support selalu...
oh, i'm so loved!

kesabaran...

when will i get there?
when will i finally be there...?
kesabaran itu nampaknya sungguh jauhhh sekali untuk diri ku yang selalu gopoh (sifat syaitan).
berkongsi, memang bukan kepandaian ku, apa tah lagi keikhlasan ku dlm hal tu...
tapi dalam dunia ne bukan ada Jehan seorang,
dan bukan Jehan seorang saja yang mesti dititik beratkan...
dat's why me tertanya2 sangat, bila lah boleh mulai sabar?
dalam semua hal, tiada kesabaran...
sabar berdiam diri bukan kesabaran sepenuhnya...
sabar yang ikhlas barulah bernilai...
bila lah baru sampai ne?
jauh sekali sifat lemah lembut,jauh sekali sifat pemaaf, jauh sekali kematangan
pandu lah aku ya Ghafur...
i'm so lost without Your Guidance...

aku tersepit!

mana satu kekaseh hati ku?
aku bingung memilih...
yang itu, atau yang ini?
atau harus kah ku madukan saja keduanya, selayaknya hidup ku?
owhhh theeedak! ('oh tidak' dalam gaya dramatik ala2 wayang 60an di mana kekasEh nya meninggalkan dirinya)
harus ku nilai servis, tapi bukan itu adat hidup ku!
selagi bukan milik ku, tak sanggup ku menjamah walau sekadar membelek anggota...

holga baru. holga memang idaman hati ku. holga baru ini 35mm. holga ini chantek. holga ini baek punya! tapi sungguh huduh rupa fizikal nya. betul2 macam kamera mainan atau kamera yang org akan senentiasa salah anggap sebagai 'lapuk' padahal dia adalah lomo. lomo tak lapuk. lomo cool.

owh theeedak.
aku sungguh bingung...
mungkin hasil 'servis' nya dpt ku ukur dan ku timbang?

ghairah aku dibuatnya.

ini. ini lagi masalah satu. ini pun chantek. ini nama oktomat. dia pandai potong gambar jadi 8 macam potong kuih pun ada juga. lybby sudah ada ne, tapi xpernah tgk result dia. ini buat aku bingung. ini buat aku menilai gerhana yang menimpa diri. aku suka action, jadi aku suka la ambil gambar in action. gambar potong 8 pada detik yang bbeza ne memang dpt capture action yang berlaku.

kalau nampak begini, ghairah nda? aku ghairah. aku tersepit.


KALAU SEBEGINI, WALAU APA PUN KEPUTUSAN KU, SAVINGS KU TETAP TERGADAI. BERGADAI UWANG DEMI NAFSU. APALAH AKU KALAU BUKAN INSAN BIASA, PEDAGANG YANG HINA.

Ya Allah, kuat kan Iman ku. pada malam yang larut ini, aku mabuk chenta! bahasa pun sungguh sastera, akibat lah menonton Romeo & Juliet (my fav movie!!). sebelum aku merepek lebih lanjut, better i go to sleep. bsuk mau ambil tini lagi. dia sungguh tidak kisah kalau aku dayus. bagus la tu tini! :)

update!

S.I.B.U.K

that's what happened for the past month.
gue SESAK!!!! tanpa life!
gue SESAK!!!! tanpa masa untuk diri sendiri!
gue SESAK!!!! dgn komitmen dan perikatan diri terhadap tanggungjawab yang tidak dpt di bahagi2.
so much for divide and conquer! most of the time i feel that i'm stranded, burdened to tackle everything by myself.

hidup, hidup saya, sungguh sesak dengan rutin harian yang berulang mengejar masa yang nda pernah menunggu kita ready ka nda ready.

talking about timing, Alhamdullillah merasa lagi kita nikmat masuk ke bulan Sya'ban, bulan Nabi Junjungan kita. i'm so thankful this year penghayatan ada meningkat skit, maklum lah, takut 'bankrupt' di akhirat nanti. tolak mengumpat, tolak ujub, tolak akhlak yang xdijaga...tau-tau di akhirat kena declare bankrupt, baru tak tau!

jadi kalau sudah Sya'ban tu nda lama lagi Ramadhan la maksudnya kan? i'm so not ready! my project belum siap simpan manik! i think baru 6/40!! 34 lagi bila mau buat?? kudung la tangan! campur lagi dgn tempahan org yang masuk...this year i'd tolak mana2 yang lambat...takut nanti tym raya i jadi botak sebab terlampau stress & xcukup tido! alamatnya tahun ne baju sendiri lagi-lagi tiada manik...adedehhh! stock mau di masukkan, means i'd be sleeping at along's apartment sebab buat stock tagging...dgn system baru yang sudah di rectify and execute, i'd be switching between branches untuk tutup account everyday. daddy, gaji tambah lagi skit boleh ka?

i'm so old,
so lonely,
so tired,
so LAME

selamat mengerjakan ibadah pada bulan Sya'ban...bersama-sama kita dgn tamaknya mengumpul amal wahahahahahaha (ketawa kejahatan) <<< nah ini labaini sebab2 kena tolak markah sampai jadi bankrupt ne...astaghfirullah al-azimmmmm

RINDU BAC!

should have known

sometimes, pikir panjang-panjang lagi teruk. sometimes,rancang lama-lama lagi la tersasar jauh dari yang di impi. i should have known. somethings are best left in the hand of the Almighty Creator.

apa saya buat, saya buat, saya buat.

the busier i get, the more i feel like SLACKING.
lagi banyak kerja mau buat, lagi i feel like leaving everything aside...main game la, turun jalan-jalan tgk barang, or pegi lunch yang lama2 and jauh2 heeeee....(thank God i can always pungut si Grace jalan)

actually tiada pressure kerja, cuma sendiri yang melambat2 kan kerja, so one after another kerja tu bertindih-tindih and menjadi lah masalah. sana juga mau buat stock-check & stock-tag, sana juga tempahan manik...and recently yang lagi memeningkan kepala ppl booking for wedding photo session...adedehh...terror pun tara...mau tolak pun susah, mau terima lagiiii berat...

talked to dad about an offer a make-up artist made me; join her so she can offer better service for bride&groom la...because her dad pun sudah jadi videog, so she need a photog....kiranya full service la dia ada.... but i'm still thinking2 (pikir-pikir) mau ka tida....len la kalau terror kan...but the make-up artist cakap teda masalah lah, sure handle-able (boleh di tangani). all that dad said was 'as long as it doesn't interfere with your work for me, you should go ahead, get experience!'....& i sambung in my heart 'get MONEY!' heheehehehe...

owhhh...sungguh boring 2-3 hari ne...byk kerja...but still i'm here uploading pictures in flickr, keluar tangkap gambar, main MadCaps (kesukaan), downloading Gossip Girl and watching it over & over again, blogging, texting, on the phone, msn....antah lah!! i wish my work can work itself heeeeeee....skrang pun i'm supposed to jahit manik, tapi masi lagi blogging and dloading themes from zedge.com (syok woooo gerenti!!)

where is my priority?

another & another

you are always on my mind :'(

syukur Alhamdullillah... akhirnya berkunjung jua bulan Mei yang batah (lama) sudah di tunggu...

friends getting married on May,
some are starting to be familiar with their work routine,
some are making decision to stay or leave,
some are still adjusting,
some are getting ready for exam,
some are trying to be close,yet some already drifted apart,

but for a simple person like me,
i'm just glad that the new month is coming...
because i'd be a few hundred richer than today (which will last for few days only!)

we always want what we can't have...it's always subjected to money...

new member joining Canon Family

canon EF-S 55-250mm f/4-5.6 IS

satu lagi meriam buluh yang akan masuk my canon family! yahuu!! getting it on monday, hopefully semuanya ok saja...

after this, senang lah mau candid gambar org yang jauh nun di sana wahahaha (ketawa jahat)

lepas dpt ne kena lah test-drive lense ne di mini zoo lokawi n ambil gambar monkey2 and hyppo, gajah, zebra (tedalah mini tlampau nampak gayanya). 2-3 hari ne tidur pun nda lena la ne, mandi nda basah...tapi yang penting MAKAN TETAP KENYANG wahahahaha

a pact i made

i was stuck in traffic, and a lot of things were flying in and out of my head. i was thinking...where in the world are my bestfriends from Poly are now. i know some are furthuring their studies, some are working...then it hit me...di mana kah Archie Nasarula? (sila baca dgn intonasi rancangan kanak-kanak 'Di Manaaaaa Joeeeeee Jambul'). i looked at the clock, 11-ish. he's not up yet. dapat kacau dia tdo lagiiii bagus!!

J : hoi pare, kumusta??

RC : sino pa??

J : hindi mo alam? brapa byk jua kawan mu org tagalog jo??

sure dia masih tidur! we talked for a while and he told me that he's @ Sandakan now. owwwh how i miss Sandakan so much! i really hope i can go after BAC finished their semester now... i really wanna go to places where i grew up...awww...pasti nya i'll go to Katong to re-visit my first of all firsts.

before i put down the phone, half-heartedly he asked, 'jo, ko ingat ka jo ko bilang kalau 40 sudah umur kita....?'

oh darn it! a pact that we made long ago, when we found we were compatible yet not so compatible. 'kawin kita kalau 40 kita belum kawin jo?? ingat jo ingat....p la ko cepat2 cari bini2 jo...palakas na kau uttu...manyasal kita kalau tkawin!!'

ahahahaha i know some of our other friends know about the pact, some even made a double pact with him...if 39 belum kawin kunun mau kawin sama Archie... APA KAMU PIKIR DIA IKAN MASIN KAMU MO BUAT SUKA2? hahahah it's all good...he's the only male in our class then...i guess we just love to play around with him... this post of endless blabbing is for u RC, we all miss u dearly...balik la kk jo!

and thx jo, we've been thru thick and thin. literally. thick then thin then thick again. makin gumuk kita uda jo!

i'd delete this post if i find it too embarrassing later on! heee

Bapa

My aunt ucu drove all the way from Sipitang with Mama and Bapa to kk. i'm so thankful that she got Tuesday off so she can bring Mama and Bapa.

in the afternoon, mom brought Bapa (along with Mama) to see Dr. Bachi. i was anxious to know what did the doctors said. i rushed back home after work, to find him taking a nap on sofa. i asked mum and the reports haven't came in from the Dr. few minutes later i heard him guessing 'ayang kah tu? mulih sudah ia?' how can a grandpa not be precise when it comes to granddaughter? he sat next to me, and asked Mama to bring him some dinner. 'ada jua luih mu antaie di kadai? inda jua ampuk sehaie ani?' (did u have any sales today?). caring as always, i'm glad that i'm seeing more of him lately. we talked, and i asked him about his ulcer. he said on Wednesday he'd go to the Dr. 'untuk begambaa' << means to take x-ray look of his stomach. later that night Amir came and i sat there watching him play with Bapa. i remember that. sama saja cara nya mbawa bemain, dari kami kecil sampai lah my bro ada anak pun, it's still the same. for a while there cemburu jua, cuba lah aku pun dapat damit bebalik. i believe (or i wanted to believe) that i've always been Bapa's favorite. i was his first granddaughter. surely i'm his favorite. somehow it must be.

after two days staying at home, they went back, my mom sent both of them to Sipitang since my dad is already waiting there. i hope everything would be okay with his ulcer in his stomach. i heard the infection is already in his lungs. but i just refuse to take that into account. did i tell u that i believe what i want to believe?

well, he's fine, really. he'd be okay after taking medicine. he's a man of science with a strong fighting spirit..that's my grandfather!

i wish i possess more. i wish i have more so i can give them more too. i'm dying to buy him a new television, one that doesn't suddenly turns the volume up by itself. but i dare not say it before i have enough, i don't want to keep him waiting. he said both him and Mama aren't really bothered by the tele's problem, he said he liked it that way, a constant reminder for my cousin acha (who's 5 or 6) not to mess with the tele or it'll 'shout' like that. if he said he wants it that way, nobody dare to say otherwise.

if only i have more time...i'd make it up for all time lost...for every moment that i was 'lost'. if only